Dominants if you want your submissive to obey you, you are going to have to train her. Training requires you to follow through.
She will need training to learn to do things the way her Dominant desires, Good training starts with establishing rules. You need to talk with the submissive about what you expect from her.
Example: Don't say "I expect you to clean up" Your and her idea of clean up may not be the same idea. Tell your submissive what you mean by clean up by clean up and establish rules for how that cleaning up is supposed to happen. So your submissive will know what you want.
You should check on her work and let her know when she done a good job or bad job. If she done a good job say so, if she done bad job say so. If the work deserves a punishment the follow through soon has possible.
Punishment waits to long then you allow separation of the punishment from the act of the mind of a submissive. Better to hand out the punishment swiftly, so your submissive closely associates disobedient and/or poor work with the punishment.
If the punishment waits to long then your submissive will learn that she does not need to obey you. And you will lose control of your submissive. the submissive will grow restless and disrespectful.
Inexperienced Dominants can find the follow through part difficult.
Modern Western culture is to respect women. If you done the work before hand and talk to your submissive what the rules and the punishment for disobediences are then you have no reason to feel guilty about punishing your submissive. Not punishing the submissive for disobedience is the wrong thing to do.
Remember that establishing rules and punishing when the rules are broken is part of serving the needs of your submissive. The submissive needs structure that the rules and the punishments will provide for her. The submissive will be unhappy probably in the immediate moment of the punishment, but the submissive will be happier overall when she has the structure.
If you have not had that discussion with your submissive about what you expect and what punishments will be, then do so. Do not put it off. Follow through, Just having rules is not enough.
Submissive also need to work on following through.
When you are given a task by your Dominant, submissive you need to do more than perfunctory job. Being obedient is more than just going through the motions. You need to do more than just know the wording of the rules. You should strive to understand the rules and what required of you.
This dose not mean you will get to understand the reason for all the rules, Some rules you will get simply because the Dominant says so. Understanding the rules does not mean always knowing the why of a rule. It does mean grasping what the rule means for your behavior.
Example: If the rule to keep the kitchen clean, the you should know what it means to keep a clean kitchen. Have a conversation with your Dominant about all rules. So the rule keep the kitchen clean you will know what it means to keep it clean. Does a clean kitchen mean seasonal decorations or not? Does clean kitchen mean it must be clean before bed time? Before the Dominant home from work? Cleaned when you, the submissive get home from work?
Try understanding the importance of the rule to your Dominant. Your Dominant may like to cook, and so having a clean kitchen may be very important, he may not like to cook and may simply be expecting you to not be massy. Learn these things by talking with and getting to know your Dominant. You have an obligation to follow through with understanding these things as much has possible, but also in completing your obedience.
Your obedience is not just completing a task by the letter of the rules. You should try to complete your task in the spirit of the rules. the rules are there for you and your Dominant. Your Dominant should be establishing rules to help you, and you should be serving Him by making sure you do your best to follow the rules. Even those rules that may not make a lot of sense to you.
You may or should have had a discussion with your Dominant about your needs and your limits things you cannot or will not do. you have emotional needs and mental needs that your Dominant will be serving by His leadership, you have an obligation as well, to serve His emotional and mental needs.
Playful disobedience should never, ever be excuse for being consistently sloppy in your work. That is not playful. That is lazy and willful disobedience, that will cause stress to your Dominant, And that is just a plain no-no for D/s relationship.
Dominant and submissive your both have a responsibility to communicate with each other. Dominant if your submissive is continually doing something that displeases you, lashing out and being angry will not solve the problem. Talk to the submissive, find out the root of the problem. Submissive , if your Dominant is being being mean and/or neglectful, being neglectful, Being petulant and bitter is not the solution. Talk with your Dominant by talk with your Dominant, I do not mean first gossip about it with your friends. I mean go to your Dominant and tell Him you need to talk about the things that bother you.
Both of you, Dominant and submissive , learn to listen. Pay attention, learn when they are unhappy. Listen to what they say and how they say it. I do not I repeat I do not make assumptions about what the other thinks or feels.
Your homework have a talk with your Dominant or submissive about the rules, even if you had one before, do it again. It never hurts to have more discussions as you progress through your D/s relationship. IF you are not in D/s relationship, then write it in your journals about what rules mean to you and why you want to have them.
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