Inside BDSM lifestyle what it looks like

What it looks like inside the BDSM world. Sure there's protocols and rules and the basics but it comes down to what you see that I have outlined below. Every Dominant has a different way of doing things. That could be because different submissive has different needs but it still comes down to this.


No one should expect a submissive to wait on a Dominant to issue orders to them not in a relationship with them.

Until you give your gift of submission to a Dominant. No Dominant has the right to intimidate, force, demand or take away your freedom.

Until you have accepted a submissive, NO submissive has the right to try to manipulate, hound, demand, or take away your freedom.

Both must have trust and respect for each other, this is not one sided.

Neither should lie or hide things from each other, nor should either side accept it being done.

Submissive should expect to tell the Dominant what they would like if they feel a need is not being met. (Yes, yes done respectfully)

Submissive should expect to tell the Dominant their dreams, fantasies, what they think are their needs and what they think is missing. This might be done verbally or in a journal.

Submissive are allowed to express a need for tenderness, love and understanding when they feel the need.

Submissive should expect to be allowed to ask questions as long as done respectfully.

Submissive you have to believe the instructions/orders your Dominant gives you have been done with care. You should not constantly question your Dominant about instructions/orders. Clarifying questions are usually accepted when asked in a respectful manner.

Submissive should expect to bring up concerns they might have and expect the Dominant to listen and consider what they are saying. Yes this is to be done respectfully and yes the Dominant has the final word, but the submissive has to feel you gave it consideration and not a just because I say so response.

Both should we expect the other to make mistakes, one prays it is not one of endangerment.

A Dominant has the right stop play/scene at any time.

A submissive has the right to stop any play/scene at any time.

Dominant should never feel guilty for applying real punishment or for fulfilling their Dominant responsibilities.

Both should never be abusive to the other.

Submissive you have to believe the instructions/orders are given with thought and care and not just to see how far you will go or how many weird things you will do for them.

A submissive will always focus on pleasing the Dominant and hopes the Dominant will find it pleasing.

Submissive behavior at all times reflect directly upon their Dominant, so they are to act with good representation of their Dominant at all times.

The Dominant has final word in all matters or issues. The submissive must believe the Dominant has used their judgment and fairness in making the decision.

No submissive can release themselves from, collar or relationship without the Dominant prior approval and consent.

Submissive are expected to keep an open mind and try new things expanding their limits.

It is a submissive responsibility to figure out what pleases their Dominant.

Submissive are expected to be courteous and to assist other submissive whenever they can.

Submissive are never allowed to think they are better submissive than the other.

Submissive should be allowed to ask for help if they need

Submissive should be allowed to ask for attention rather than act up to get attention.

Submissive should be allowed to expect aftercare following any play/scene.

Submissive should expect to be reminded of their submission.